Mom's Miscarriage; Sorrow For A Child That Was But Now Is Not

Sorrow For A Child That Was But Now Is Not
by Me

I look for a secret place to hide my heart
with it's joys and sorrows
A place to lay it down where none will dare to follow

I try the green grass in the meadow
But no the field mice may notice it
there in the shadows

I try the bubbling brook
But no this will not do
Mr. Beaver surely will look

Sorrow seems to stay to long
then picks his hat up
And walks right out the door
only to return once more

But Joy
she never seems to meander meaning
only to pop in quick.

Even if...
I could find a better place
than green grass or a bubbling brook
I could never find
a secret place to hide my sorrow

For a heart may be hidden
where few will dare to follow
But that heart cannot be hidden from
the steps of it's own soul

"Another little one was sent to bless our hearts and to be our friend. For just a very little while we loved this one as one of us." *

In my heart I still weep. Sometimes a deep raw fathomeless heaviness would lay upon my soul that at first I could not shake off sometimes almost for days at a time. 'How did I know that all babies go to heaven as "...we have no clear indication in scripture as to what happens to babies when they die"* and if not where was this brother or sister of mine?' These where my jumbled thoughts at the time.

" We planned and wondered what we should call this one when he/she with us first appeared as we crowded around gazing at the angel face, marvelling at God’s goodness and the amazing feat of what He could create.

But then the Lord wanted to take this little one to be with Him, another soul to praise His name for all eternity. This soul was made perfectly for the purpose of eternity."*

It will never be the same. Yes, in my heart I still weep.

* Note: Please do not reproduce any part of this document. All quotations are used with permission from Tarry Home and are taken from Miscarriage
http://tarryhome.blogspot.com/2009/10/miscarriage.html

Following added 20th September 2011. I now have hope. This YouTube video describes my feelings.  
My sweet sibling, I still love you, may you rest in peace for eternity with Jesus. Of course you never were our future, for God is. My soul waits and trusts in the Lord that you are with Him forever. Dear one, I love you but He loves you more than I do now and more than I ever could have on earth. Jesus gives us a hope and a future.